The words marriage or matrimony, derive from the latin maritaticum or maritatre which derive at the same time from the expression matris munium, which means mother and care, “Mother’s care”, since it was considered that the mother was the one who mostly contributed to the children within the marriage. Another possible root could be matreum muniens, meaning the mother’s defense and protection, implying therefore the man’s obligation to protect his children’s mother. In many romance languages, the concept of marriage is a valid contract under the Roman Law, which was fundamentally based in the idea that the possibility of becoming a mother must be within an established family. In contrast to this Western concept, the Arabic one could be mentioned, since the word marriage could be translated as "coitous contract" or, as the most common word is used to express this institution (zaway) that literally means "union" or "partnership".
This analysis of the etymological meaning of the word marriage within the Western culture is very relevant here as an introduction to this second part of this chapter, to highlight the importance of the woman's implication not only in the term, but also the concept of marriage. Having previously analyzed the earliest history of marriage in the first part, it is therefore primordial to give a brief background on the history of the woman's evolution, achievements, and the circumstances which led to feminism and how it developed.
Elizabeth I, Queen of England, is definitely an outstanding historical character in the History of Woman since she, was a pioneer in achieving the respect and admiration only a King would have had, regardless of her sex. Known for being a very cultured, confident, intelligent and courageous Queen who prided and inspired many of the women of her time, she was herself, ironically, not of any help, or support to other women who aimed to become like her, wise and educated, at all. With no intention to motivate women to be like her, she did show them, the possibility to become wiser and educated. However, she enjoyed the privilege she had as a Queen, to be better than the rest of women;
"Her (Elizabeth's) famous speech to the troops at Tilbury (in 1588) made a sharp distinction between her role as woman and as a monarch: 'I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England at that"
(Walters, M., (YEAR) Feminism - A Very Short Introduction. p. 17)
From the Elizabeth Era onwards, a slow but steady fight of women began, with the purpose of gaining the same legal and social rights as men. With no right to vote, no right to own their property, no right of their children's custody, no right to travel alone, not even the right to choose who to marry, (because of course they had to marry)... Women felt that they were complete subordinates to men. This era brought hope, and because of the beauty in Literature and Art of this particular era, women began to have more interest and access to these arts, in particular to writing and reading. Female writers began to publish their opinions, and their arguments in favor of an equality in rights for women as for men.
A movement that had not yet been defined, slowly began to expand, in novels, and literature, women began to express themselves publicly, speaking openly about their frustrations and claims, especially for married women, who then had less rights than the unmarried ones. What could in the first place seem like just 'some women's pointless begs to gain more value in Society', a movement that no men gave any credit to, soon took full form until the first feminist associations and committees appeared during the first half of the eighteenth century.
From the earliest years of this period of time, one must mention "Mary Astell (1666 - 1731), who was actually one of the earliest true feminists, - who - refers to the subordination of woman to man, in one of her books, Some Reflections upon Marriage (London 1700) "She (Lady Mary Wortley Montague) admitted, rather reluctantly, that marriage was necessary to propagate the species, but insisted that a wife is all often simply 'a Man's Upper Servant' " (Walters, M. Feminism, A Very Short Introduction p. 28)
Men had complete control over women, not only politically, since there was no place for woman's word or opinion on anything that involved independent thinking, neither they had any social or personal right, since every woman's destiny, power or reputation was upon her father's or husband's will.
Historians like to separate the different movements of Feminism in three waves. And I would briefly go through these feminist movements which achieved an equality between man and woman in Society, and transformed completely, the role of women in marriage and therefore, the whole concept of marriage.
The first Wave Feminists (late 17th - beginning of 19th century) were fighting for an independence from Men; the right in fact to be considered as individuals and entitled to the same rights in marriage, freedom and to own their own property. And secondly, to be given the chance to receive the same education men did, arguing that "if women are more stupid than men, there should be no harm in letting then give it a try". If women did not have the same facilities as men, they would never be able to compete against them, or test their capacities.
It was not until this point in History that the Traditional Marriage was seriously challenged for the first time. Giving women the same rights as men, would mean that no men would have any sort of control over their wives, apart from the financial power in the family.
With Industrialism, came a period full of controversy. While freedom and individualism were accepted values, the pressure of social conformity was still enormous. However in an industrialized context, intellectual values gained more importance than physical skills, and this permitted women to gain, in a slow fight against religion and politics, an economic independence. Now, marriage became more a civil commitment than religious, and divorce became possible.
From the 19th Century, some men spoke publicly as well, speaking on women's behalf, like the case of John Stuart Mill who "felt his duty to make a 'formal protest against the existing law of marriage' on the grounds that it gave the man 'legal power over the person, property and freedom of action of the other party independent of her own wishes and will"
(Walters, M. (year)Feminism, A Very Short Introduction p. 45)
Mill presented the first women's petition for the vote in 1860, it was not until 1918 that woman in the UK, and only over the age of 30 were given the right to vote; only on equal terms with men from 1928.
What is sometimes termed 'second-wave feminism emerged, after the Second World War, in several countries. In 1947, a Commission on the Status of Women was established by the United Nations, and two years later it issued a Declaration of Human Rights, which both acknowledged that men and women had 'equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution'
(Walters, M. (year) Feminism, A Very Short Introduction p. 97)
The other crucial factor in this transformation of our societies, as we have already mentioned, is the sexual revolution that was produced by the discovery of the pill and other contraceptive methods that gave women a liberty of choice unparalleled ever before. For the first time in History, including periods like the Roman Empire in which the women from the aristocracy enjoyed enormous freedom and the sexual mores were extremely relaxed, women of all social classes and backgrounds were free to enjoy and decide over their sexuality in any way they pleased. Sex and procreation were separated and women had as much as if not more capacity to decide over this factors as men.
This last fight, of sexual freedom should be attributed to the women of the Second Wave of Feminists of the 1970s.
"(Lee Damsky) Women in my generation were born in the 60s and 70s with the sexual revolution and the feminist movement, but we grew up with a mix of socio-sexual contradictions: the conservative blacklash and the AIDS epidemic, the queer movement and genderfuck. We got divorced parents and 'family values' homophobia and lesbian chic, 'just say no' and 'Ten Ways to Drive Him Wild'.
(Henry, A. (year) Not My Mother's Sister. p.89)
This passage refers to a very particular time of transition in history. It is interesting because it reflects with total honesty and transparency, the situation which many women went through during the eighties, there had been so many huge changes in their role in society and youth in general that it was impossible for them to find a rational balance between the good or bad, the old and new... There were only the two extremes, and it was their role to find a meaning to it all, whether to choose their parent's role of marrying. The achievement however, or success of that fight, should probably be granted to a new generation of feminists who emerged in the 1990s in the US, who are being called the Third Wave.
"Third-Wave feminists see their sexual freedom as a fundamental right, much like the right to vote."
(Henry, A. (year) Not My Mother's Sister. p.90)
The increased sexual and economic autonomy, are in any case the true material pillars of the success of western feminism, being that the reason why on societies in which those achievements are not possible, the role of women within matrimony and marriage itself continue to be of the traditional type.
Add to this transformation in Western Societies, the enormous influence that cinematography exerts over men and women in the 20th century and the idea of love and marriage, romance and marriage, love as the main reason to get married, marriage as a decision that only involves man and woman, as the IDEAL of marriage and modern marriage enters the scenario, after the II World War.
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